


MY HUMAN DIES

by NatureBoy



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (2012), Thor (Comics)
Genre: Death, Drama, Dysfunctional Family, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Love/Hate, M/M, Other, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-22
Updated: 2012-11-22
Packaged: 2017-11-19 05:55:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/569893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatureBoy/pseuds/NatureBoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Odin took away all of his youngest sons powers, Loki finds himself houseguest at the Avengers tower.<br/>Powerless and bored nothing seem to cheer him up, until Tony Stark walkes into his newly mortal life... but Tony Stark is an ant, and ants die.</p><p>Prepare for drama, hurt/comfort, sex, romance, tears, anger, hate, love, true miracles, endless love, death and happy ends.</p><p>AT THE MOMENT WORKSAFE!</p><p>(Thank you Bäum Chen for translating it!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When you die, how should I remember you?

**Author's Note:**

> Please review you guys! I am new at writing fanfics, I'll make mistakes and this is not beta-read!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tony is Tony and Loki can't handle anything...

One morning he knew. Nobody could’ve said why he did. His mind made the discovery on it’s own. Slowly but soon he saw the evidences as clear as painted lines. 

Tony’s steps became more sluggish. Every movement weaker. Every sentence slowlier. Just for a second, a fraction of time. But he noticed it.

He didn’t want to admit it. Not like this. He endured much. Loneliness, when the armor was brought out of the shop and the only human being he was interested in –his human- was flying away to save lifes in a place he didn’t know. 

To save lifes.

He endured the little wrinkles at the corners of Tony’s eyes, that slowly became deeper, clearlier. Some pale stanes on his arms, not really visible yet but clear old stains. As if time would paint them on him while saying: „Look at that. It’s the beginning of the end.“

He endured the grey hair beneath his ears, then by his temples. Followed by the first strands of grey hair, looking like narwhales in the dark sea. 

Everytime when he was standing in front of the former Stark Tower‘s large windows he asked himself why he even did „endure“ all this. For his brother. For mother, whom he never would call mother again. For Tony.

For love. 

„You look like you’ve been partying for four nights“, said a voice behind Loki. The ex god turned around to face the person standing behind him, noticing that his powers were barely sufficient to open a glass of cherries. 

Tony smiled a bit. „Damn, I’m sensitive like…“

„Like Clint after three bottles of vodka!“

„I actually wanted to say ‚like always‘, but I’m sure this is an adequate comparison as well.“ His gaze became more serious. „What is it?“

Loki sighed and shrugged. „Nothing.“

***************

 

They always ended up with such evasive words. Even when Loki wanted to force himself to tell him everything –it was all the same. When Tony looked at him, worried, in almost a childish manner, he couldn’t. 

He played the game as long as it would last. He „endured“. First he fought it, because there is nothing a god can’t change. Even a god without the tiniest spark of sorcery, useless like an ant between the others of it's kind. The only difference was that he would live forever. 

To live forerver, Loki thought while sipping his tea. A book lay beside him – The Lord of the Rings, that he tried to finish for ages now. He read a few pages and put it away again. Instead he gazed at the endless view presented by the panorama windows. Looked through the window at the lights of New York. 

Somewhere out there was Iron Man on a mission. Drowning children, collapsing buildings, dams, supervillains, the end oft he world. Maybe, but not today. 

„My human dies.“ 

It was a quiet, barely noticeable observation. 

He made it just by himself as he was there, all alone in that elegant bedroom on the top floor of the Avengers‘ mansion. Alone in that almost-too-big bed where there was a gaping empty space next to him, as if they’d been practicing for the serious case. For the day on which nobody would lie there.

He didn’t even think it over before he spoke it out loud. It sounded ultimately and frightening.

Tony Stark would die. Like every other human being. Not today, not tomorrow, but soon. Comparing to the life of a god the lifetime of humans count nothing. Just sparkling in the eye of the universe. A quick shiver going through Yggdrasil’s leaves. Maybe even less.  
After that he pondered. Feverish. Almost all night long. Even when Tony came back and the nights were a little less lonely for a while. It became even worse.

Sometimes it simply hurt. Like air hurts in a diver’s lungs. Little moments.

At breakfast Tony took his hand. Suddenly, like he did when he came from behind and hugged him. Even Tony’s boyish smile hurt. Not because it was there but because it was just a matter of time until it would be gone forever.

The days became shorter until Loki wasn’t able to tell how to live through one day alone. It didn’t matter that Tony asked again and again what was wrong.

„You look bad.“

„Is it because of your power?“

„Why don’t you look at me?“

The day they fought once again was the day everything broke. But how did it start? Did he even need a reason to argue with Tony Stark?

It wasn’t Loki’s intention. Doesn’t matter if he hated it when Tony came home with one of his blonde models. Doesn’t matter if the silly thing went out again, faster as a Ferrari in the Sao Paolo race. Just damn it.

 

„Why?“ He didn’t scream, not really, no. It only sounded loud because he didn’t want to hear it himself.

„Why do you do this? Are you that miserable? Is it not enough to you that I can’t leave this building? Is it not enough that I stand here at the window every fucking day like the pitiful idiot I am?“

„Why not?“ Tony replied. Not unemotional but with that typical Tony-attitude. „Where is my part in your housewife plan, darling?“

„Don’t you dare, Stark!“

„Where are the tits I deserve? Where? I can’t see them! But I should get them!“

Loki glared at the floor. „If I had my powers…“

„BUT YOU HAVEN’T THEM! And I’m sorry, Loki, but as long as you can’t give me THAT–honestly, I will fuck every silly model that I can get!“

You couldn’t call it „pulling“. Not in that way. It was more an unlucky tumble backwards. Classic accident. And Loki felt sorry. Of course he did.

„I’m sorry.“ His voice almost sounded hysterical as he tried to remove shards of glass of Tony’s back.

„I shouldn’t have said this, Loki. I know what… I’m sorry. Okay?“  
Loki shrugged. „One second I thought you were dead. I thought I killed you.“

„But surprisingly your plan failed!“ Stark laughed. Just a second later he clenched his teeth. „In previous times you would’ve broke the glass!“

„With you as my projectile.“ Loki added.

„Yeah.“ Tony nodded and smiled. „Do you remember?“

„Yes“ Loki nodded, too, as his eyes looked out for Tony’s. A smile, again. „I do.“

„What do you want to drink?“ Tony whispered and bent in his direction to hug him. But something was wrong. „You’re making that face again!“

„You’re dying“ Loki said, his mouth forming the words on it’s own.

„Not today.“

„Soon. It will happen soon. I can see it. I even smell it. Damn it, Tony“ Loki grabbed Tony’s hair until he heard him gasping. „Your body decays like a flower’s leaves. As fast and irreversable- “

„My, Loki, that comparison…“ Loki interrupted him.

„It’s true.“


	2. It's not like never wanted to go...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which skinny jeans look funny and Tony has to point it out.

Sometimes Loki regretted everything. 

Starting with his first try to conquer the earth until that day on which he couldn’t look away from Tony Stark’s dark brown eyes.   
Such things didn’t happen to him.  
That was impossible. A human being. Just imagine. A human being, mortal, without any remarkable properties comparable to a god. How he laughed at Thor because of his Jane. 

You. Are. Making. A. Fool. Of. Yourself. 

Sometimes he repeated this sentence just to remember how silly he was. The water from the shower ran down his body, water that could cover the tears. And Loki knew, he knew how he was making a fool of himself. 

My human dies. My ant dies. Tomorrow is another day, another week, another month and I can’t do anything against it. Nothing at all. 

Sometimes he stood in front of the mirror in his room and tried to reach the very own magic of his. Again and again, it didn’t matter if there was an achievement. He imagined how his power would bring Tony’s mortal body back to life again. These moments were eighty percent hope and twenty percent stubborness.   
He never succeeded. 

SHIELD wasn’t happy when Thor told it’s director that his megalomanic brother would spent the next few month in the Avenger’s Tower. Nobody was happy. Not even when Thor told them that his brother couldn’t use any magic. No magic, no power, nothing. 

Nobody was reassured. Not even Thor himself who knew his brother way to well to trust him blindly   
An old office in one of the higher levels, two floors below the rooms of the Avengers, was cleared for the new guest. The furnishings were sparse but tasteful. A sofa in front of a telly, one empty shelf. A cupboard, a table, a chair. 

Loki didn’t feel home or something like that. He felt nothing.   
For the first weeks the ex god refused to get up or to eat. Thor gave up asking him after a few days. Two weeks later it felt like Loki wasn’t there at all. After three weeks life went on as usual.   
„I thought of, you know, it isn’t that cold yet, but –no, don’t interrupt me!“

Loki, as he was lying on the bed, couldn’t tell where the voice that filled the room came from. After a few blinks his eyes recognized Tony Stark who was standing next to the bed at the window. It seemed like he was speaking to himself or the glass, for he kept talking.

„They lend ice skates. Nothing special, you now, it’s in the park. An icerink, candy floss. Not really my sport – but since you never had candy floss. Well, you can stay here…really! It’s okay. But the engine is running and Happy is only happy while waiting for me. We shouldn’t tease him, shall we?“  
Loki blinked again. 

„I –I’m sorry?“, he murmured.

His outstanding mind didn’t work with full power yet, so it was hard for him to follow the man of iron’s babbling. He looked as unimpressed as when Loki first met him. 

Whenever you are threating him for his life or lying next to him in bed, his pokerface always fits perfect. Acted boredom, happy chatter, casual clothing. 

Where did he noticed that face before…?

„Well, will you put on some clothes and come with me or will you stay here and let your hair become matted?“ Tony smiled. „It would be lovely to take a shower first. I mean, alone. You. Not we. I’m clean. I…okay, I will wait for you in the living room.“

Loki needed a few seconds to realize what was happening. It was the first time that one oft he humans his brother interacted with, spoke to him. When he moved in the only contact was made with SHIELD. To find Tony Stark in his little cold refuge derailed the young god. 

He swung his long legs out of bed to stand up. Before he would do anything else (his plan was to simply sleep again) Tony Stark had to leave. Before Loki would become mad and do something stupid.   
How dared this insect to wake up a god. Moreover it did with meaningless chatting. 

„Well?“ Tony’s head appeared at the edge of the wall that separated the living room from the bedroom. Loki winced. „Oh, you’re nacked, wonderful! Yes – I’ll wait on the sofa. Just call me if you need something!“

Did this really happen?

Loki tried not to think but went groggily to his drawer that helt his little amount of clothes that they gave to him. Black, green, black, green. This was Thors fault for sure.

With a gaze in the mirror he found his feares confirmed. His hair was a mess, his face was pale and he had deep shadows beneath his eyes who spoke for themselves. Ouch. 

„What is it? Shall I show you how to use the shower?“, Tony’s voice came from the sofa. The god frowned and tried to ignore everything until he thought he was dressed well enough. Loki looked around for a comb or something like that, but he didn’t find one. 

„You look funny!“, Tony claimed as Loki headed for the sofa, and threw his arms in the air. Skinny black jeans and a black shirt with a dark green cardigan. Loki glared at Tony. „I like your outfit!“, Tony babbeled happily. „Hipster meets snob or something like that – this is the shit! Yeah, it suits you! I think I can let you out of this room like this!“

Loki sighed. Twice. Last time deep. „Out.“

„Well, that’s what I call really mean. No, seriously. Go get yourself some manners, then you might come with me.“

„I. DON’T. WANT. TO. GO. OUT! – YOU shall go out!“, Loki said with clenched teeth. His fists clenched, too, hardly noticeable, but for a moment Tony thought of simply leaving and let him be.   
But on the other hand, where would be the fun?

„Come on, sit down – friends? Everything okay? You wanna yell? Look.“ The scientist drew a rectangle in front of his chest with both arms. „This is your small room! No, put your head in here, like this…“ 

As a reaction, his face was hit by a pillow. 

Tony glanced worried at Loki. „Are you hungry? It is said that children are always silly when they’re hungry!“ 

Loki gasped. „Child? You dare – who gave you permission to…“ Stark interrupted Loki elegantly. 

„Oh, I don’t need permission. This tower is mine. How do you say? I built it with my own hands – in my case with my own money. I don’t need permission for NOTHING.“ 

Loki was silent. 

„But you, my friend, have to get up. Soon. It is not healthy – yeah, you’re a god, you’re doing what you want – to stay in bed all day. Your body needs sunlight and exercise. You get my message?“

The two men glared at each other for a while, one of them biding, the other secretly shaken because of his anger. Then Tony stood up without saying anyhting and Loki watched as he left. 

He didn’t know if his decision to not follow him was the right one.


End file.
